substitute goods

There are 3 foods this dumb belle can't say no to: salami, beer and any kind of batter. This makes me a perfect guest at German beer fests and child birthday parties but has thus far prevented me from reaching my lifelong dream of participating in a small town beauty pageant and dazzling all in the swimsuit competition. Not to mention in the talent portion with a one-man band rendition of Fleetwood Mac's "Tusk".

Following my recent acceptance into grad school, where I'll be thoroughly confused in more than one econ class, allow me to draw a parallel between healthy livin' and economics: substitute goods, in econ terms, are goods that can be used to

satisfy the same needs, one in the place of another - butter and margarine or Pepsi and Coke are classic examples. Lately, I've been wondering if there are replacements for my guilty pleasures that would also help me get that elusive bikini bod.

I've done a little food substitute exploration - including a product called Quorn I can't really recommend - and I'm sharing three of these trials with you. Here's to making these substitutes normal-tutes! If you have any go-to substitutions, please do share with the class.

substitute good #1: agave nectar or palm sugar for brown sugar.

the facts: Agave nectar has a low glycemic index, which provides sweetness without the unpleasant "sugar rush" and unhealthful blood sugar spike caused by many other sugars. As an added benefit, you can apparently use it on your wounds, like the Aztecs did. Read all about it here, and pick it up at Trader Joe's. Palm sugar is made by boiling the nectar of coconut palm. It apparently has the lowest GI of any sugar, meaning that it only gradually raises blood glucose levels, giving a steadier supply of energy. Not only can you sprinkle on cereal or oatmeal, but it makes a great substitute for brown sugar in baking. You should be able to get it at your local Asian foods store.

the recipe: not so much a recipe as a breakfast recommendation.

1 cup of oatmeal (cut oats are better!)

1 tbsp. of agave nectar drizzled over the bowl

dash of cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice (or spekulaas for any euros)

blueberries and raspberries

substitute good #2: applesauce for oil.

the facts: Replacing oil with applesauce will cut calories and fat without adversely affecting the texture of whatever you're baking. Applesauce is a great source of fiber and anti-oxidants - just make sure you get the unsweetened kind, or make your own.

the recipe: slightly altered maine pumpkin bread

• 1/2 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup applesauce (I like using chunky applesauce - adds texture)
• 1/3 cup water
• 1 1/2 cups palm sugar
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 7x3 inch loaf pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.
3. Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaf is done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

substitute good #3: there is no substitute for red meat.

the facts: As Gob says in one of my favorite Arrested Development episodes, "the jury's still out on science." Likewise, the jury's still out on several meat replacements, including soy and mycoprotein (part of the fungi family grown in a large vat). In my opinion, nothing can replace the deliciousness of red meat (with the exception of Morningstar sausage patties!). I'm choosing instead to eat it in moderation, and I created this recipe just for the occasion.

the recipe:

Kimspeziala (Meatless Cheeseless Lasagna with an Egg on Top)

1 Tbs. olive oil 

2 cloves garlic, minced 

2 Tbs. tomato paste 

2 cans peeled plum tomatoes 

1/2 cup chopped fresh basil 

1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley 

1 1/2 tsp. dried oregano 

1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes  (I like to be very liberal with the flakes)

Salt and ground black pepper to taste

500g pre-cooked whole wheat lasagna sheets

1 eggplant chopped into small squares

1 yellow pepper chopped into small squares

1 red pepper chopped into small squares

1 red onion chopped

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Coat a large glass baking dish with olive oil cooking spray.
2. Saute eggplant, peppers and onion in a pan with a bit of olive oil and the two cloves of garlic.
3. When the veggies are tender, add the tomatoes and tomato paste. Let it simmer on low heat for about 5-10 minutes, and then add in the parsley, basil, oregano, pepper flakes and salt and pepper.
4. Put one layer of lasagna noodles down to completely cover the bottom of pan. Add about 1/2 of the veggie mixture and spread evenly over the noodles. Cover the veggies with lasagna noodles, then add remaining veggies but save about 1/2 a cup of the tomato sauce. (You can add a ricotta mixture here if you're so inclined!) Cover with lasagna noodles, the tomato sauce and dried basil. Bake covered for 30 minutes; remove the cover and bake for an additional 5 minutes.
5. While the lasagna's in the oven, fry an egg for each serving. If you need instructions, I'm shocked, but here you go.
6. Slice up the lasagna and serve with the egg perched on top!