Boob Pride (And Other Goals)

If I were to be unabashedly honest in job interviews when they ask me 'what's your biggest weakness?' I'd have to admit that I'm a consummate half-asser.* There's a half-knit hat sitting on my bedside table next to a not-even-close-to-half finished book on the Cold War next to a not-even-opened bottle of wrinkle cream. I told myself I'd learn how to play a certain song on the piano but every time I sit down to play I just sing 'Who Wants To Live Forever', sans accompaniment. My bedroom is essentially a pile of art supplies for projects I've half-completed. I ain't proud of this, and I think this personality flaw makes it especially hard to commit to a healthy lifestyle. Keeping this in mind, I'm setting low expectations for 2010 living. But I'm gonna try.

*If you're a potential employer googling me, I promise my strongest skill really is a can-do attitude.

1 Hour.
One night Asta, Anne and I were playing Scattergories at Albatross in Berkeley, and when I used the word "boring" as my answer to "Exercise", Asta was visibly shocked and offended. As she should be. I've tried gyms, dancing, yoga, pilates, Tae Bo, Wii Fit...and none of it keeps me interested very long. With that in mind, I'm not aiming to run an hour or go to a Pilates class every day - I'm just promising myself that I'll do a total of 60 minutes of exercise a day. Now, that could be 30 minutes of stretching while I watch "How I Met Your Mother" and 30 minutes of washing dishes, but say it with me - low expectations. I'll go on the quest to find the ultimate exercise soon enough.

Number Two
That's right people, I'm talking about poop. I did a little research on healthy bowel movements (heartfelt thank you to Google for not suggesting images for this particular search) and I found this site for kids extremely informative, with a special tip to get up a little earlier in the day to make time for dropping the kids off. The best site I found, however, is The Poop Report. I was giggling all over this site. I wouldn't recommend staying on it for too long, but I think it's important to think about our system and what we can learn from it. In fact, I'd love to hear other's thoughts on poop. Food in, fecal out!

Spending A Penny
While we're on uncomfortable subjects (Scott, if you're still reading, I'm really proud of you), I drink too much coffee and juice and not nearly enough water for healthy hydration. For the sake of my skin and my belly, I aim to drink enough water to pass enough water. Unfortunately, I don't know what the appropriate amount/color is, so I did a little research. I learned that someone out there loves urinating so much they've dedicated an entire site to it: http://www.urinecolors.com/, but beyond that, there's just too much info out there to know what's right. Hey Lyndsey, care to drop some of your nursing knowledge on the matter?

Will, You Ruined My Life
In 10th grade I got word that a boy was talking about me in the locker room. I won't share the exact quote, but I will tell you that apparently he enjoyed the way I wore my bookbag, with the strap across my torso and between my boobs. I've been self-conscious of the bazooms ever since and have always made a concerted effort to round my shoulders and slouch when I walk so I don't receive unnecessary attention. Well, I'm done with that. These babies are only going to be perky for a few more years so I might as well stick 'em out now and reap the rewards. I aim to do Sun Salutations every morning to start my day off with flexible, strong, boob-proud posture. This woman knows what I'm talking about - she has a great rack.

Keeping the Doctor Away
Holy lordy, there are so many amazing fruits and veggies! My recent favorites: mangoes and parsnips. (Do not eat these together). Fruits make you poop (see number 2) and veggies protect your heart - what's not to love? 5 a day, my babies, piece of cake. Oh...cake.

Sugar, Sugar*
My best friend often does a dead-on impersonation of me simply by saying "Drinks!" in a high-pitched voice. Yes, it's true, I do love me a good cocktail. My tipple of choice for years was rum and coke - a whopping 200 calories. I've tamed the beast a bit now and opt for wine spritzers or gin and sodas, but that just makes me think I can have twice as many. And pile on a dessert, too. What needs to happen is a mind shift - cocktails are essentially desserts. It's one or the other, Kim. My own little Sophie's Choice.

What's cookin'?
Cooking is a pleasure I've only recently discovered, for which I will credit unemployment and living with my parents. When I lived alone, dinner was typically a can of chili or just a tortilla and some beers. There was no joy in cooking because there was no one else to appreciate it and my kitchen was the size of a hotel bathroom. My parents grow every vegetable imaginable in their garden and have a magazine-worthy kitchen with every utensil under the sun. They even have tiny little muffin tins and a cider press. Crazy utensils aside, it feels really good to put time and effort into a meal and know exactly what you're eating. I've already started cooking up a storm but hope to keep it up with at least 2 new recipes a week. I'll be sure to share my favorite recipes.

*That reminds me, I should go to the dentist.

Here's to a healthy, low-achieving 2010.

Exercise is a dirty word, but not as dirty as the sidewalk

I woke up with a hangover on Saturday. Rushing to catch my bus back home from London, I stopped at 4 different vendors in Victoria Station to satisfy cravings for sweet, salty and hydration. First, a chocolate chip cookie. Then a smoothie. Then a pre-made duck dish. I threw them all in a bag and started to head out when I realized I needed a fork for my "salty". As the little fat kid in my belly would have it, I was standing right in front of a fast rood restaurant.

McDonalds was packed but I managed to get the fork...and a hamburger, naturally. I made a mad dash for my bus, darting in and out of tourists with bags and the aforementioned goodies bobbing all over the place, my mouth doing a countdown to satisfaction. As I weaved through a group of teenage boys I started to think, "Damn Kim, you're goo-" when my left foot tripped on my right and what was a stealthy Kim became a pancake Kim. My belongings exploded all over the boys and the sidewalk, but all I could think was that the hamburger better stay contained in that glorious paper wrap.

And boy, it sure did. With bloody knuckles and a bruised knee, I downed every last bite of my food within the first 5 minutes of the busstrip and then took a moment to examine my life. I had started the day in a lovely North London apartment where my friend Lyndsey effortlessly made Huevos Rancheros for us while I barely managed to make drinkable coffee. Adding insult to crappy coffee and culinary skills, I've been unemployed for almost 5 months now. I live with my parents. My most recent romantic encounter was replaying a kiss during an episode of Veronica Mars, and today is Valentine's Day. Needless to say, I could do with a little self-improvement.

Improvement starts with taking control of any little thing I can. Like not getting so drunk on Friday night I need a carb overload the next day. Like planning life a bit better so I don't have to sprint to catch a bus. Like running more so that putting my left foot in front of my right doesn't result in a face plant on a grimy sidewalk. Healthy living sounds crazy boring to me, but if life is about owning things (let's be honest, folks), what better to own than a healthy body and a happy mind? Melissa, Jamie and I are starting this blog to document our ups and downs while we eat well, work out and flex our mind muscles to be better, thinner and happier women. That's the plan, at least.

If you can't control your feet and end up falling flat on your face in public, or if you can't control your love of Nutella and eat 4 tablespoons in a row after you make brownies and eat the batter, or if you drink two gin and tonics before you do pilates...this blog may be just the thing for you. If not, I've just shared a hell of a lot of personal information that I'll thank you not to bring up the next time I see you.